Nobody ever said it was easy. Over the years I’ve become used to the familiar taste of failure. A failed attack, a mechanical, struggling with the pace and dropping out – leading to the most feared three letters in any road racer’s mind; DNF.

You enter a race with good intentions. Make meticulous your preparations, plan everything to the last degree, pack your kitbag the night before, wash and clean the bike, pump the tyres up nice and firm, pick out your finest racing kit.

But no matter how carefully you plan everything, no matter that you ensure you don’t leave anything to chance, remove the element of risk from your race, your legs can still let you down.

On the first lap. Halfway through a race or in the final sprint. Wherever the moment your body fails to deliver enough power to the pedals, the lactic acid strangling your legs ever tighter, there’s no getting away form the inglorious moment you ease off the pedals, slide back through the peloton, watch the riders in the race become a small speck on the open road ahead.

You’re alone. There’s no one to console you, deliver comforting words. Just the stark fact that you weren’t strong enough, not fit enough to cope with the pace being set by the stronger racers in the group.

You ask deep searching questions of yourself. Analyse where the race went wrong, break the unfolding events down into small chunks, examine the point at which the race got away.

Thoughts of quitting racing naturally flood the adrenalin-charged brain. At this point, you understand exactly how hard cycling is.

I am realising the task of getting fit enough to race seems an insurmountable challenge this year.

2009 was a good year; I achieved my season goal of moving up to second category. But this year, I’ve hit a wall. Much of the reason (or my excuse), is that since becoming editor of bikemagic.com, and the demands this promotion have brought, I’ve been unable to devote as much time to training for races and being around enough to enter races. [Really? You’ve spent the last three months just riding your bike – ed.]

Which is why I’ve only really got my road race season underway, while all around many are turning thoughts to wrapping up the season, digging out the cyclo-cross bikes ready for the upcoming ‘cross season.

But there’s still much racing to be had. And the personal challenge of trying to do well in a road race, holding my own, and maybe scoring a few points and respectable finishes is still a realistic opportunity.

So I’m going to continue along this lonely trough of trying and failing, and if I try enough, soon my luck should change.

Is a bit of good fortune too much to ask for?