It’s that time again. Your weekly fix of groundless opinion, ill-advised humour and slightly long-winded rambling. So let’s get on with it…

First off, many apologies for the slight lateness of this edition of ‘Delusions…’. Looming exams, an increase in training, and a visiting female friend have all contributed somewhat to the sorry situational lateness I find myself now firmly ensconced within. To make up for this oversight on my part (not that anybody noticed, or even commented.. the shame, RCUK readers) this edition is a bumper multimedia extravaganza featuring some juicy audio-visual delights discovered on youtube and some pictures of me. Posing shamelessly.

Last weekend I went to Frome, just outside of Bath, for round 1 of the Rudy Project TT Series. 24.5 hilly miles- although to be fair it was only a large hill in the middle which was the issue, as the rest of the course was pleasantly undulating. HQ was situated in the relative splendour of Frome Town FC; a nice set-up. The event organisers and marshals proved to be very friendly and helpful- even offering to pin my numbers on for me (see last week’s edition for the appropriate way to accomplish this). Add in the fact that you got a free CTT bottle when you signed on, and this was shaping up to be a good day.

I am lucky to be the proud owner of a rather fine Planet X Pro Stealth Carbon TT bike, but last year this was raced irregularly (and poorly, many will have you know). As a result of this, and my own changing body, I found that when I threw a leg over it for some test rides and training it was insanely uncomfortable. I understate. It was so uncomfortable that I’d have happily gouged my own eyes out rather than spend more than a minute down-low and aero. So, I rigged it up to the turbo trainer for some traffic-free tweaking (read: overhauling) of position. The turbo is good for this as you can really get to grips with how a position feels, rather than concentrating on traffic/obstacles. Once you’re happy, take it for a spin on the road to check everything is ok, as riding on the road is obviously quite a different sensation than riding on the turbo.

Anyhow, I was struggling. I’d moved bars around, tried different stems off friends, adjusted saddle height and fore-aft positioning, and it just wasn’t working. TT positions are interesting because they often advertise or promise ridiculously lo-pro and aerodynamic positions which for the vast majority of us aren’t actually the fastest position. There’s no point being as low down as possible, your nose practically brushing road grit off the top of your front tyre, if you don’t have the flexibility or muscular co-ordination to pull it off. It’s far better to place the bars higher, in a less aerodynamic position, but have all the benefits of actually being able to put all your power down through the legs.

I’m rambling. So, I was at the end of my tether. But then I had a small brainwave. Those who know me fairly well on the forums know I have a tendency to exaggerate what I perceive as certain similarities between myself and my hero, the sainted Mr. Bradley Wiggins OBE. We’re both a skinny similarly-weighted and similarly-proportioned 6ft 3”, both having a preference for the pursuit on the track and time trials on the road and the odd bit of climbing (although my mountain prowess has yet to really materialise, hence the name of this blog). So I did what any self-respecting poseur would do. I tracked down pics of the man on his TT bike online, and then I attempted to replicate his position as closely as possible on my bike. A quick test on the turbo and road confirmed my suspicions- I was supremely comfortable and ready to roll. Thanks Wiggo.

It was in relative comfort and quiet confidence, therefore that I started round 1 of the Rudy TT Series. A strong headwind for the first few miles took the wind out of my sails a little, but I was soon in a comfortable rhythm. GB Talent Team colleague Crystal and I had arrived with no issues. The ‘pin the number’ game accomplished, we drove round the course in the car to highlight any potentially hazardous or technical sections.

The route map available online had mentioned there was a 1-in-7 (14%ish) avg hill about halfway round the course. Knowing I can normally get up these without any undue fuss, I had left my straight-through TTing cassette on the bike. 12-21 sprockets on the back, spread over 10-speed, means that there are no gaps between gears. The sprockets are consecutive- 12, 13, 14, 15, etc. This lack of much difference between gears is great for a TTer, whose goal is optimum efficiency. He doesn’t want to be in a gear just a bit too high, only to find that the lower gear is just a bit too easy.

I know that my smallest gear 39×21 can get me over a 14% climb without any problems. However. The particular 14% climb on the course was certainly not a steady 14%- there were steeper sections. Oh, and it was about a mile long in total. To cut a long story short, I was reduced to grinding my 21 at about 50rpm for the majority of the climb- losing time and patience. Lesson learnt- always keep a spare cassette with alternate gearing in the car so you can change if required.

Apart from that woeful schoolboy error, my TT went well. I hit a ‘career’ best of 30.4mph average for 6 minutes on a flat section after the climb, and finished strongly. Job done.

Rudy Project TT Series Round 2 is tomorrow (by the time this goes to press I will have done it) over in north Hampshire, and I will be taking a spare cassette!

Moving swiftly on, it gives me great pleasure to unveil the delight that is my snazzy new GB Talent Team kit. As I have tried to explain to friends, well-wishers, casual observers of my facebook page, etc- I have had the kit for a while now, but have been consciously holding back from publicly displaying it as I haven’t raced in it yet (and still don’t feel that I’ve really earnt it enough). However, when a budding photographer friend pleaded to practice her camera-work by taking pictures of me in the kit, well… It would have been rude on my part to decline. :-p I fully expect to get brutally flamed on the forums for this collection of nauseating ego-massaging snapshots. Ah, well.

Whilst we are on the subject of performance (or lack thereof) I thought I’d show you this video on youtube which a few months ago was very well-received in the cycling community. A spoof rap mocking both the roadie and hipster/fixie/courier contingents, it is ‘Performance’, by MC Spandex. One of my favourites. (and the ‘hipster’ in it looks strangely like cottage of wattage and Tour of Flanders victor, Fabian ‘Spartacus’ Cancellara)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn29DvMITu4

Summer is creeping up on us now- most of the country having seen widespread sunshine over this weekend. If you are still struggling to shake off the remnants of a peculiarly persistent winter (or are just in need of some motivation), let me unleash upon you my favourite youtube cycling video of all time. Filmed on iMax cameras, it features fantastic shots of the Tour de France and one of the best soundtracks I’ve heard for a cycling movie around. In case you take a particular fancy to the songs featured (I liked them all), they are, as far as I know:

–          Themetune from ‘A Beautiful Mind’

–          Will you follow me? – Rob Dougan

–          Keep Hope Alive – The Crystal Method.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laPCkx9Fx5c

I think that should keep you all busy for now. I very much enjoy writing these articles and hope they are well-received. Unfortunately, I cannot guarantee that I can submit a weekly example over the next few weeks, though- track camps and exams looming, and training is ramping up as I’ve been granted the honour of representing  GB at the UCI Paracycling World Cup round 1 in Bilbao at the beginning of May. I will do my best to turn in regular updates, but please be aware it will be a struggle!