The Bicyclopedia knows everything there is to know about bikes – the only problem is they don’t know which of this info makes for interesting on-bike conversation and which of it is duller than a 210km, pan-flat stage in the first week of a Grand Tour.

Like The Old Timer, they’ve memorised all the stats about every climb – except unlike the OT, they’ve never ridden these roads before, just pored over the profiles of each segment on VeloViewer, Strava and MapMyRide.

However, The Bicyclopedia is still a fantastic person to have in your sportive group because their obscure knowledge will prove invaluable should you have an unusual mechanical at the side of the road, miles from the next feed zone.

Just make sure you don’t get caught in a conversation about the different diameters of ball bearings with them when you’re refueling at the finish line.