Whilst out training the other day I was rather unpleasantly reminded that Christmas is not far away. This vexatious experience occurred whilst overtaking someone who can only be described as a newcomer to cycling, or considering his age, perhaps a ‘born again.’ Either way, I don’t wish to imply that this in itself is in some way disagreeable. In fact, I’m a great advocate of encouraging people to the sport and will always offer well-meaning and constructive advice to the newcomer. [Whether asked for or not? – ed.]Anyway, here he was, trundling along on what appeared to be a brand-new, mid-priced, well-known brand of bicycle, probably made in Taiwan at the expense of jobs in this country and complete with an impressive-looking cycle computer.
No doubt this was relaying important and vital information regarding cadence, heart rate and his speed, such as it was. Yet here he was, riding in shorts with the temperature barely above freezing. Even a native of the Highlands, and we all know about their predilections for feeling the wind around their knees, would have thought long and hard before venturing out dressed in such a manner. And the reason for the unpleasant reminder? His skin, which resembled that of an oven-ready turkey straight out of the freezer.
Spend money on technology, parade a bit of cycling bling by all means, but surely someone should have informed him that a pair of thermal bib tights would be a far more beneficial investment than a fancy computer. This misplaced consumerism is a growing trend amongst cyclists who seem to feel that the purchase of technology will gain them advantage and improvement, whereas it usually provides just an illusion of progress. There’s one in my club, with ‘all the gear and no idea’. His bike drips carbon to the point of obsession, but his latest purchase takes the biscuit; Power Cranks.
Having read the promotional literature that accompanied these wonders, none of us would have been in the least surprised if every club record was smashed, every race entered won and every training session a session of physical torture for the rest of us. Well, that latter part of it we know anyway. Watching his pedal stroke reminds one of a grumpy blacksmith bringing his hammer down upon a recalcitrant lump of metal. If the watts he generates equal all of ours it would be no surprise, and yet so far, apart from some amusing and unusual dismounts and the ability to pedal with what appears to be two left legs, results or at least championship results seem rather sparse for him.
As it happens, results were never going to flood in. Dishing out a hard time in training was always his forte but come race day his nerves would strangle any of those winning aspirations. Time and time again, people would take advantage of his strength, heightened by power cranks or not, to manoeuvre themselves into a position at the crucial point of a race, attack and steal the glory.
To suggest that nothing can be gained by the use of modern advances in cycling is absurd, as is restricting access to the latest componentry to anyone that wants to purchase it, whether they’re novice, experienced or pro cyclist. It’s just that until the fundamentals and basics have been learnt and understood no amount of wonder wheels will provide a quick fix. On last Sunday’s club ride I overheard one of the wise old owls of the club provide a neat and succinct piece of advice to a young lad who was bemoaning the fact that the others were always giving him a hard time, and asking what he could do or purchase to alleviate the problem; “Son, get out and ride yer bike more!”