Speaking after winning the race in a beautifully-timed one-on-one sprint against Michal Kwiatkowski, Gilbert explained he had felt something smarting when he’d initially come off his bike in the crash.

“When I crashed, I felt pain, but once I remounted and continued the race things became better and better and the pain disappeared. Unfortunately, after the finish, the lower back pain returned, so together with the team doctor I decided to go to the hospital for a check-up. Fortunately, it’s nothing serious, and if everything goes well, in a week I will start training again.”

So yeah, nothing serious. If you tear your kidney, no biggie. It’s just like stubbing a toe. Except I cry actual tears from my face when I stub my toe.

Breakaway bollocking brings Bahrain’s boy big boons at Brabantse*

Brabantse Pijl is a very fun bike race to try and pronounce, as well as being a bit of an overlooked gem in terms of entertainment value for the spectator. For Sonny Colbrelli it turned out also to be a very happy hunting ground – the Italian continuing his excellent season by taking the top spot here last Wednesday.

Colbrelli was not just the fastest sprinter on paper by quite some distance in the break, he was also the only rider to have a teammate with him to share the work. It was he and Grega Bole who counter-attacked to force the winning break, after the day’s first escape was caught with 40km to ride.

Unsurprisingly, there was some reticence from companions Dries Devenyns (Quick-Step Floors) Bert-Jan Lindeman (LottoNl-Jumbo) and Tiesj Benoot (Lotto Soudal) about working with Colbrelli and Bole, with the men in the golden helmets left to do most of the pacemaking.

Eventually Colbrelli tired of this and – being about as far from a shrinking violet as Oleg Tinkov is from being a classy and compassionate human being – the Italian delivered a sound dressing down to those with him in the breakaway.

Amazingly, this seemed to have the desired effect, with the other riders starting to take turns in pulling on the front.

This sort of cooperation with a clear favourite flies in the face of all known racing tactics and effectively paved the way for Colbrelli’s relatively easy sprint win.

Even the arrival of defending champ Peter Vakoc and Benoot’s teammate Tim Wellens, after bridging over to the front group, could do nothing to prevent him crossing the line with more than a bike length to spare.

*Do they give Pulitzers for subheadings?